


Better

by BrosleCub12



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, Cuddling, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Netflix and Chill, a bit of hurt but mostly comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-12-26 06:29:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12053262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrosleCub12/pseuds/BrosleCub12
Summary: To have this effect on someone so wonderful is incredibly humbling, he reflects: the fact that Jack of all people – Jack who disappointed his father, his mother, Kent, the whole world of ice hockey it seemed – makes Eric Bittlehappy.





	Better

**Author's Note:**

> I discovered Check Please last Monday after checking it out on a sick-day - BEST. DECISION. EVER. I've been enjoying lurking in the fandom, but decided to give writing these boys a little go, especially after a rough couple of weeks that have included illness, upsets and the loss of the awesome job I've had over the past three years. I'm British and this is unbeta'ed and I know bugger-all about ice hockey, which is which I'm glad for Ransom and Holster's segments. So constructive comments would be appreciated!
> 
> Please note: This fic is perfectly pointless fluff, but it DOES contain discussion of anxiety, regarding Jack's background. I do not own Check Please - that belongs to the marvellously talented Ngozi Ukazu.

* * *

 

‘Okay, honey, now breathe out for me…’

Jack does as he’s told, eyes on the ceiling and Bitty’s ear to his chest, a gust of breath that leaves him clear; with every breath, it’s like expelling all the bad stuff from his system. The echo of bad reviews – _inhale, exhale._ The memory of his father’s disappointment; Kent’s quirked, unimpressed eyebrow – _inhale, exhale._ The _pressure…_ _inhale, exhale, inhale…_ He closes his eyes, breathes deeply and lets it out in a simple whoosh, his mouth forming an ‘o.’

One which Bitty promptly leans up to kiss, taking Jack completely by surprise.

‘Sorry, honey,’ Bitty looks guilty as he draws back, his palm on Jack’s chest. ‘Lord, I’m sorry – I shouldn’t’a done that, you just looked so lovely – ‘

Jack kisses him again; takes his face in his hands and pulls him forwards, peppers his lips with a happy vigour. It’s like pie and spinning on skates and sunshine, even on rainy days. It also does a whole new spectrum of things to his chest, to his heart that he’s not quite ready to put into words but he hopes Bitty understands, can feel it as much as he does because he _likes_ it – he prefers this kind of feeling to the other feeling.

It’s better. It’s healthier.

He pulls away, kisses Bitty’s chin once, twice and chuffs at the expression on Bits’ face; always awestruck, always overcome, in the best way possible. There are other ways to be overwhelmed, _worse_ ways; Jack should know and he never, _ever_ wants that for Bitty. To have this effect on someone so wonderful is incredibly humbling, he reflects: the fact that Jack of all people – Jack who disappointed his father, his mother, Kent, the whole world of ice hockey it seemed – makes Eric Bittle _happy._

For a while, he had been waiting for the other shoe to drop. The admission that _this_ _isn’t working out, you’re not for me,_ _I care for you but, we can still be friends, goodbye Jack_ and then _another_ wasted year wondering how things could have gone if he’d tried _harder._

Instead, it’s this: Bitty returning the kisses he receives and shuffling on top, rests his head over his heart, over the sound of his breath and it’s all Jack can do to put his arms around him, on his back, his soft hair like spring. His hand on Bitty’s crown, he rubs the nape of his neck and kisses the side of his head, Bitty wriggling on his chest happily.

‘Feeling okay, honey?’

Jack finds a nod, breathes out again into that lovely hair and it causes a chuckle to shake them both, Bitty’s giggle trembling against his own stomach. They lie together a while, breathing in and out, in tandem it seems – _inhale, exhale_ and Jack’s arms, if possible, tighten around them both. He doesn’t want to lose this – he spent a long time thinking about it before, a long time panicking about it inwardly before he realised: he had to let it _be_. The pluses of Bitty far, far outweigh the minuses and to this day Jack is so glad that his father somehow understood.

‘Hard to say goodbye, eh?’ he admits finally and Bitty shifts; squirms; presses his face against his shirt, tells him he understands. With only one more day until he goes out on the road and Bitty has to return to Samwell: well, time is precious, time is short.

His stomach squirms, uncomfortable at the very fact of his sudden discomfort and he runs a hand up and down Bitty’s back to steady himself. Bitty seems to understand and stays still, hums to him in a soft stream, like a trickling brook in the park in the summer. It takes Jack a couple of minutes to pull out the tune from his brainbox – it’s ‘Pyramid’ by Charice, a song that Bitty recently discovered and has been belting out in the shower in the mornings.

It’s sweet. It’s terrifying, hearing the range of Bitty’s powerful voice from down the street, but Bitty is all things powerful. He manages to calm Jack down, of all things – right after speeding him up.

‘Sorry,’ he says finally and Bitty leans up, stops the apology with his mouth.

‘Mustn’t apologise, honey, it’s fine. It’s all good.’

He shrugs; he’s trying, _really_ trying, not to apologise for this, these blips he still gets that he can only reveal around Bitty, around Shitty and Holster and Ransom and Lardo – but always and _especially_ with Bitty. There have been jokes before, in his weaker moments, about getting him an apology jar, both for the novelty of the thing as it rarely happens and to cut the bad habits when it _does_ happen; Ransom chirps that it’d probably stretch to a can of Red Bull.  

Honestly, Jack hates it when this happens – the _tightness_ in his chest, the sudden pressing need to visit the bathroom _again_ but Bitty just… stays with him. Holds his hand and guides him through it; doesn’t say anything because as much as Jack loves him, God knows the last thing he wants is to fall into that reassurance trap, that lingering, clingy need to hear that he’s wonderful and can play hockey brilliantly and better than anything else and that everyone slips up and there’s nothing wrong with him. It took a while to get those habits out of him; rehab started it. Bitty is willing to – always willing – but Jack _can’t._ It took accepting being imperfect and making mistakes and accepting he’s only human to perform well. To be better.

‘Tablet?’ Bitty asks, sounding both suggestive of a cure for all ills, and simply hopeful and Jack laughs. He reaches out for his own, charging on the bedside table and they both adjust as he rests it on his knees, Bitty leaning his head back against Jack’s chest. Skype talks are always fun; always rejuvenating, but to share the one tablet for Netflix sessions is even better.

‘Dirk Gently?’ Bitty adores that series and how frankly insane it is and is counting down the days until the second season and may or may not find something rather reassuring about Elijah Wood’s height. Whatever, Jack just enjoys the clever one-liners and he finds it, hits the play button.

They lie together, take the time they’ve got, laughing at the sheer zaniness of something silly and Jack lets himself breathe in the moment, and feels better.

*

**Author's Note:**

> Like Jack, I suffer from anxiety - more of the OCD variety than anything but it does lead to anxious/depressive episodes and over the last few years those episodes have been very frequent. I found Jack's situation incredibly relatable and reassuring and reading The Hockey Prince was a reminder of anxiety being a result of caring and caring too much. The amount of pressure Jack puts on himself isn't unfamilar to me, but it also really helped me to see things a little more clearly and I wanted to pay tribute to that; I'll admit I put a few of my own experiences of it in there. Hoping I did Jack and the fandom justice; let me know if I didn't. 
> 
> Also, Pyramid is a great song and seems like the kind of thing Bitty would listen to. I tried to make it Halo but I just had Pyramid going around my head, so thought 'why not?'


End file.
